I fully intended for last week's post to be the last one in this blog. But I have to make another post to sincerely thank everyone for their kind words and support for me. For anyone to take the time to reach out to me - a complete stranger - has been absolutely emotionally overwhelming in an already highly emotional time.
I wish I could tell you I'm in a better place, but I am so not. I was determined to run in Saturday's race and had convinced myself that 2 days rest would make it okay. I made it exactly .60 of a mile before something popped and my entire foot had pins and needles in it and I got to experience the absolute fucking humiliation of limping back to where I started and scored a DNF.
I celebrated over the weekend by eating everything that wasn't nailed down and then complained about how fat I have become. Have you ever heard of anything so unbelievably pathetic?
I haven't made the idiotic choice to run since then, and it's getting better. However I am absolutely convinced that my running career is over.
Yesterday we received some very bad news about Marc's dad. Marc and his father then returned from the doctor's office to find dad's cat in really bad shape and rushed him to the vet's where, after some tests, it became clean that there was no choice and Timmy had to be euthanized.
I am without even a glimmer of hope and I am of zero use to anyone reading this. There are inspirational bloggers out there who you can find that are true success stories. Not sad sacks like me.
I will not be seeing a therapist who should tell me "If you don't want to be fat, stop fucking eating so much, you cow!" I either need to get my shit together or stop complaining - and apparently I'm not prepared to do ether right now...
I really want no one to worry about me or spend any time thinking about how I am. I know everyone out there has there own stuff they are going through and being concerned about me is not a good use of your valuable time!!!