It was 2 years ago today when I hit my goal weight of 119. And last year I was flying high on life with a lovely 117.
Oh how times have changed. I resolutely got on the scale this morning and watched as the numbers popped up with a sense of numb helplessness.
125.8. That puts me 6 pounds heavier then goal and over 8 pounds heavier then where I was last year. So my failure to be a maintainer is official.
I feel like I've let down everyone - from myself, to family, to everyone who reads this blog.
I've vacillated today between THIS IS THE END to this is not that big of a deal to everything in between. Which is right? I don't know.
I'm trying to put things in perspective. I need to get back on track and drop a few pounds, PERIOD. On the other hand - my clothes still fit, my BMI is well within healthy range, I have still come tremendously far and for fuck's sake I even won a 10k a week ago - beating women 15 years younger then me.