For all the complaining I do about Fat Jen, I think I have come to the realization that Thin Jen can be pretty unreasonable, too
Yesterday my weight had slid down a little. Not anywhere near where I wanted to see it, but enough to mostly squash the feeling of panic. Tuesdays are a run day for me, but I am trying to be reasonable and give my body some time to heal. So I walked during my lunch hour and the aching was still there.
But I felt horrible and guilty for taking it easy. I wanted to run when I got home, but instead did the elliptical. According to my heart rate monitor I burned 513 calories in the hour I was on it. It's not as much as I burn running, but it's reasonably close.
Today I went to put on the skirt I was going to wear and was SURE it was going to be corset level tight, but it wasn't. And then for my lunch hour workout, I did ab and core exercises. As I stood in front of the full length mirror, I was POSITIVE I would see loads of fat dripping off the sides of my shorts.
I didn't see that but I scrutinized my stomach and I am convinced that there is less ab definition then a few months ago. Those 5 extra pounds, you know. And then I took a look at why I need/want ab definition.
I asked Thin Jen why I need my abs to pop out. Am I a fitness model and it effects our job/income? No. Will Marc love me more or treat me better if I have a 4 pack? No. OK, so I look way better in work clothes with defined abs. No, in work clothes I don't really think you can tell. But I will look way better in a bikini, right? Yes, probably. How often do I strut myself around public in a bikini? Rarely. Is it important that strangers look at me and admire my abs? A little, but not really in the grand scheme of life.
So what the fuck? I am a 42 year old woman with a life that SHOULD be more then worrying all the time about a few pounds. I can't imagine how I will react if these injuries don't abate and I can't run. But I guess I would have no choice but to find alternatives and carry on. Because I can carry on, right?
So this should not be an excuse to set Fat Jen free to run rampant. But if only I can get it through Thin Jen's thick head that 5 pounds is not a disaster? She's not listening today. We'll see where she's at tomorrow....
Yesterday my weight had slid down a little. Not anywhere near where I wanted to see it, but enough to mostly squash the feeling of panic. Tuesdays are a run day for me, but I am trying to be reasonable and give my body some time to heal. So I walked during my lunch hour and the aching was still there.
But I felt horrible and guilty for taking it easy. I wanted to run when I got home, but instead did the elliptical. According to my heart rate monitor I burned 513 calories in the hour I was on it. It's not as much as I burn running, but it's reasonably close.
Today I went to put on the skirt I was going to wear and was SURE it was going to be corset level tight, but it wasn't. And then for my lunch hour workout, I did ab and core exercises. As I stood in front of the full length mirror, I was POSITIVE I would see loads of fat dripping off the sides of my shorts.
I didn't see that but I scrutinized my stomach and I am convinced that there is less ab definition then a few months ago. Those 5 extra pounds, you know. And then I took a look at why I need/want ab definition.
I asked Thin Jen why I need my abs to pop out. Am I a fitness model and it effects our job/income? No. Will Marc love me more or treat me better if I have a 4 pack? No. OK, so I look way better in work clothes with defined abs. No, in work clothes I don't really think you can tell. But I will look way better in a bikini, right? Yes, probably. How often do I strut myself around public in a bikini? Rarely. Is it important that strangers look at me and admire my abs? A little, but not really in the grand scheme of life.
So what the fuck? I am a 42 year old woman with a life that SHOULD be more then worrying all the time about a few pounds. I can't imagine how I will react if these injuries don't abate and I can't run. But I guess I would have no choice but to find alternatives and carry on. Because I can carry on, right?
So this should not be an excuse to set Fat Jen free to run rampant. But if only I can get it through Thin Jen's thick head that 5 pounds is not a disaster? She's not listening today. We'll see where she's at tomorrow....
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