It's not all that dramatic. I don't know why I have to make it that way!
I'm better today. Sometimes I just need a dose of reality. And sometimes I just need to feel sorry for myself for a period of time. Hopefully I'm on the upswing.
As I sit here, one of my clients is "on the run". He relapsed some time last week. Details are sketchy, but I don't know where he is and "word on the street" is that he is using again.
I can't imagine what he is going through. The guilt and shame (he had over a year clean) combined with the fear of going to prison if and when he is caught. It has to suck. And I am so worried about him because his drug of choice is heroin so the risk of overdose and death is very, scarily, real.
That's one way I am so lucky. When I go "off the rails" I risk getting fat again. Which would SUCK and could bring with it health consequences. But it's nothing like what this guy is staring at!!
So I am doing my best to lighten up and to make a choice to be happy.
I feel calmer today which makes it easier to make good choices food wise. You know, when I was fat I KNEW with every fiber of my being that my life would be PERFECT if only I was thin. I was absolutely certain I would never have a bad day again. Yeah, right!
No matter if you are at the beginning of your journey, in the middle, stuck at a plateau, or trying to maintain - you will have struggles. Defeat is not an option - get up and dust yourself off and persevere. We all have it within us, some days are just harder then others!
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