An interesting thing happened yesterday. I am on a weight loss site where I post regularly and a woman on the site whom I seem to have a lot in common with and whom I have tremendous respect for made a comment about the picture that I posted in my bikini. She said "...are you a perfectionist, by any chance? You look like one of the fittest beings I've seen lately outside of professional trainers and high-ranking amateur athletes. Your standards for yourself are very, very high."
This comment caught me COMPLETELY off guard and I spent a lot of time thinking about what she said. I do know that I am pretty fit. BUT I don't see myself as being THAT in shape that it would stand out.
I have certainly been a perfectionist in lots of areas in my life. I was thinking about this over the weekend when I was lamenting that the scale is still showing me about 3-4 pounds above where I want to be - I actually realized for the first time (yes, REALLY!) - that I am thinner and more fit than your typical 40 year old American woman.
Hmmm... I didn't set out for this. Originally I just wanted to lose some weight. As the weight started to drop exercise was a means to an end - I didn't want to be extraordinarily fit - I just wanted to burn lots and lots of calories. And my goal was to fit in booths in restaurants, to shop in regular stores for clothes and not have people stare and make rude remarks either to my face or behind my back.
Then, as I realized not only was dramatic weight loss possible but that I was actually DOING this, I wanted to get to a "normal" weight. Then as I arrived at a normal BMI, I decided I wanted to go a little lower. At no point did I want to become an example of above-average fitness. I just wanted to continue to maintain my weight loss and look decent.
So on this weight loss site, this woman - who is also insecure about her appearance and very dedicated to working out - and I are talking about how sustainable this routine is. I personally work out about 2 hours per day, every day. How long can I keep this up? Am I sacrificing activities that make a quality and fun life for sake of my appearance? Am I somehow "missing out" on things because of my rigidity? If I loosen up and become "average" can I live with this?
I don't know the answer to these questions. This is all new territory for me. I WAS missing out being morbidly obese, but I truly didn't see it at that time and didn't question it.
Where do you stand on this? Is your goal to be "average"? Anyone out there fitness obsessed?